Hate

Okie last entry I wrote about my feelings for this old blog of mine, now instantly I'm writting another entry. You must be wondering why I am feeling so emotional to my blog tonight right? Okie... Because most of the time I will have alot to say when something bad happened, after I spit out words that are trapped deep inside of this heart of mine... I'll feel alot better.

First... Thanks for cooling me down, you know who you are. :)

Someone make me very angry tonight, and before that... I am still pitying that person, is my heart too soft? Or that person just dunno how to appreciate me? I didn't say I'm very good or what.. I'm not perfect! He is forcing me to harden my heart, he is forcing hatred coming in to my heart!

Maybe you guys dunno me well enough, in the past... there's none I fear... not even my dad! Not even my bro, my friends... If I'm not happy.. I'll just fight them all, yes physcially.

And even right now.. this kind of characteristic is still inside of me, just that now I am more timid and I can control myself more. I must say no one can easily make me mad, but someone... is really good at making me mad.. and when I'm mad thats it! I'll die together with the other person...

Nonono... I should't have say this kind of thing, of course... Jesus can stop me from doing this kind of thing... but I just felt that there's a war happening deep inside of me. That person makes me shivers... with anger.. and he is the only one right now at my late youth. I have to deny myself.